How to dress like a European, and smell like one too!

Hello? Is this thing on? There's like an inch of dust on this thing.

So I just got home from what I'm calling my annual "science camp." This year it was at the University of Toronto, and there were around 700 grad students and professors from my field from all over the world. I always get a kick out of how differently European men dress from Americans. In addition to being the annual science camp, these meetings also give me a fresh look at the new trends in European fashion. So without further ado, here is a list of must-do's to look uber cool and trendy (Euro-style).

-Of utmost importance is the capri pant (man-pris). It was like a floodgate of 3/4 length opened and I got caught in it.
-Of lesser, but very high importance is black socks. With sandals, shoes, any other desirable footwear.
-Extreme v-neck t-shirts...time to show some man-cleavage.
-Faux hawks. Nothing says "I'm european" like a huge spike down the middle of your head.
-A last rule of thumb for dressing like a european is the tighter the better.

Now you can all go and dress like european men. You're welcome.